Tuesday, March 10, 2009

The weird thing about porn...


So, I've gotten used to some basic concepts about working in porn.  First, it's completely a job.  Sometimes can be fun, but mostly it's just work.  Secondly, your private life is no longer your private life.  When you put yourself out there in such a sexual and vulnerable way, you have to expect that people will assume to know you intimately.  Lastly, you have to sell yourself.... CONSTANTLY!  I'm not just talking about to the porn fans, who watch your every move, but to the porn studios, the directors, the bloggers, the distributors and to the gay community at large.  I'm not used to tooting my own horn too much.  I've always felt that humility is a virtue that is underestimated, and way more sexy.  However, to work in this field, you have to walk a fine line of not coming across too cocky, while maintaining an air of confidence.  Which explains why so many porn stars turn out to be Diva-like.  They have to sell themselves, all the time.... and it's tiring.   The weirdest thing, however is the mind fuck that you go through, when you know you're shit is out there.  That your junk is on display for everyone to see, and there's no going backward.  When reviews come in, to determine what kind of person you are based on your scene... and friends text you to say that they've seen ads or videos of you somewhere.... It's kind of unnerving.  Some how you have to take it all in stride... Some how you have to shrug it off, like its nothing.  Some how you have to stay grounded at the same time that you're selling yourself.  Some how you try not to get too weird about it.... but then again.... Porn is weird.  

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