Sunday, February 28, 2010

I get to taste his pee!

Sorry, it's been awhile since I posted last.... AT&T sucks, and I was having issues with my landline and thusly internet service at home. Can't really blog on my smartphone.... sucks to edit that way, but now I can share the important news! Just got confirmation from Raging Stallion, that I'm doing a water-sports fuck scene with Drake Jaden!!! YAY!!! Fucking HAWT! He's been one of my porn crushes for awhile, but more than that, I got to hang out with him the last time he was in SF.... and he's totally cool. We're actually going to take the day before our shoot, to hang and go do some touristy stuff around San Francisco that he's been longing to do, but hasn't had the time. So be prepared for some pictures to come! More than that, be prepared for an all out fuck fest! I mean, Jesus! He's fucking hot, and we've been wanting to do something together ever since we met.... so it's going to be great to get that raw attraction on film. I'm sooooooo excited! FUCK!!!

Monday, February 22, 2010

These are Black Facts. (11-20)

The Black Facts are continuing.... for those of you that think these are real facts.... They do hold some truth, but really..... if you take it seriously, GET A LIFE!!!

Black Fact #11 - Do not touch a black person's man or woman. That is THEIR TERRITORY! Although I hear Chicken Tetrazzini, is a good way to lure them away.

Black Fact #12 - Black people are cost conscious, not CHEAP! Examples of some 'cost conscious' sayings you might overhear are: "Are you buying my drink?" and "What do you mean we can't take the entire buffet to go?"

Black Fact #13 - The nappiest part of a black person's hair to brush, is the back of the head. Otherwise referred to as 'the kitchen'.... and it's commonly known, children always cry when you hit 'the kitchen'.

Black Fact #14 - Black men suffer from an affliction of coarse beards and sensitive skin, that produce 'razor bumps'. The cure is to not use that shit made for whities (shaving gel), and to use hair conditioner or lotion to shave. Get your shaving technique RIGHT!!

Black Fact #15 - Never, never, EVER, disrespect a black person's mama! That is their heart and soul! However, if you phrase your words as a "Yo Mama" joke, and do it in a public arena, that is very acceptable. "Yo Mama's so fat, that when we went to play hide n' seek as children, we hid behind yo mama's cankles!"

Black Fact #16 - Don't be surprised if a black person freaks out when you touch their hair. It's from the trauma of kids smacking their afros on the playground and saying "It's like a sponge". In truth, it's not that absorbent. If it was, we'd be lifeguards and dip our heads in the pool when people were drowning.

Black Fact #17 - The only difference between a black person's Buick and an old person's Buick, are the 24 inch rims.

Black Fact #18 - Michael Steele of the RNC, isn't really black. He tries waaaaaay too hard, to speak like one.

Black Fact #19 - Black people look great wearing white.... but that ring-around-the-collar is a bitch to get out, when doing laundry.

Black Fact #20 - There are few things black people distrust more than the police. Although swimming without water-wings is right up there, and so is getting your haircut by a caucasian with no experience in cutting black hair.... Police pretty much take the cake. They get trigger happy around us, for some reason.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Get your drink on.

Have a couple of things to show you today. First up, I have an event that I'm at tonight, in which I'm playing bartender for a good cause. My friend David M., who owns Chaps bar in San Francisco, wanted to have a birthday party where the proceeds go to AIDS Emergency Fund. Gotta love him! Inspired by his selfless birthday party, I had to volunteer myself to his soiree. If you're in the bay area, drop by tonight. And bring big bills for tipping! All tips go to the charity too!
Next up.... my friend Rick Cooper (Yes, I know another Cooper.... we seem to gravitate towards each other) and I did an impromptu photo shoot last week. (We were stoned.) But the great thing is... it turned out awesome! It's being used for an ad for another bar here in SF called The Powerhouse.... and I've been getting some great compliments on it this week. Never have looked so good, playing with myself. Enjoy!

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

These are Black Facts. (1-10)

I'm getting tired of all the feel good black history stuff on the news.... so it's time to just stick to the facts. The Black Facts. Check out as I post these facts for every day of February..... Be sure to reprint these for your black friends, they'll appreciate it.

Black Fact #1 - Black people only enjoy crackers made by Mr. Christie.

Black Fact #2 - Black people love the color purple. Don't know why.... but they just LOVE it. Grimace, Grape Kool-Aid, that movie with Oprah and Whoopi. PURPLE!!!!

Black Fact #3 - A good weave is a semi-precious jewel. Wash your hands before you touch it.

Black Fact #4 - That's not a birthmark on their forehead, that's a scar. It's from leaving the hot comb on the stove, and watching Young and the Restless too long.

Black Fact #5 - Black men have perfect penises. Which is just why you might put up with so much crap.

Black Fact #6 - The saying always goes.... Black don't crack. (Unless you get hit with a shovel)

Black Fact #7 - Black people are always late. Don't wait. You will be dissapointed.... Unless we're fucking you.

Black Fact #8 - An afro is insulation from the white man getting to your brain.... and it's a beautiful thing.

Black Fact #9 - Cocoa Butter is essential to moisturize black skin. Otherwise you get mistaken for 'Crazy Ashy Larry' who tries to sell aspirin pills on 5th.

Black Fact #10 - If white people had black butts, we wouldn't have chairs.

Party Proofs!

It's been a full day after the Cybersocket Awards, and we're just recovering from the open bar now. Check out all the cool pics, courtesy of the my man Tball! Didn't win my category, but I got hella drunk and had a blast.... so it's all good. :)

Saturday, February 6, 2010

The LIVE Event!

I'm happy to say that last night's Nasty battle, couldn't have been better! Who knew all these fucking people wanted to see me fight in person, the bar was packed wall-to-wall! YES!!! Kudos to Graig Cooper for giving me a fucking slamming fight. Yeah, I got beat, but we raised tons for charity... and that's all that really matters. Lots of friends came by to take part in the event, as well as spectate... I was overwhelmed by how many people dressed up in their own singlets. Off the fucking HOOK! Thanks to Suzan Revah, for referee-ing, and almost getting knocked down a few times. Steve Satirycon for MCing, and Drag Queen Extrodinaire, Donna Sachet for being our "Round 2" sign girl! You guys are awesomy-awesome!

Okay on to the next live event, which is coming up tomorrow. My first time in Raging Stallion's studio to
shoot with, was well received. So they booked me to come back as soon as possible. Tomorrow night, I'm live for your pleasure. Just go to (Sun. Feb. 7th at 8PM PST), if you want to ask me any questions before I blow my load for you. :)