For a short while when I first started playing with boys, I identified myself as bi-sexual. Then I met my first husband, and since we were monogamous, it made more sense to identify as gay. This was despite most of my friends being straight dudes, and tending to have closer relationships to my dudes, then my gay counterparts. After I became single again, I couldn't deny that I was still attracted to girls, and started dating and having sex with women off and on. However, I never told people I was bi. Somehow, I got the feeling that by saying 'gay', both straights and gay friends would feel more comfortable. Don't know why they do... but it seems to be echoed in the gay porn industry. Which I gotta say is pretty fucking confusing, considering all the attention that 'gay-for-pay' straight dudes get.
The only other guy I know who is out about his bi-sexuality, as a porn star is Dak Ramsey. Even though there's more than a few of us out there... including myself, and Nash Lawler, we constantly feel compelled to check 'gay' on our applications when working for gay porn studios. There's a language that gay guys understand, and feel comfortable when talking to other gay guys; and PUSSY is not a part of their vocabulary. But in an industry where masculinity and
perceived 'jock' personalities are put on a pedestal, why is there still this apprehension towards being bi? Dak and I have talked about it at times... and neither one of us can figure it out. We're not confused about our sexuality, so why is everyone else seem perplexed by it? Maybe it goes back to high school. Where everyone could talk about who they were boning, except for the gay guys. Now, able to be fully absorbed in a world of gay intercourse, I find whenever I talk to my gay friends about my female fuck buddy.... they want to change the subject. Are they reverting back to the locker room in their mind, where they don't have the ability to share in sexual exploits, no matter who the conquest was? If we as a queer community, and a queer porn industry really value non-conformity, and want everyone to enjoy whatever 'floats their boat', when people are paying for only the fantasy... why can't we talk the language of bi? Why do we give a fuck, who he's fucking?