Wednesday, February 10, 2010

These are Black Facts. (1-10)

I'm getting tired of all the feel good black history stuff on the news.... so it's time to just stick to the facts. The Black Facts. Check out as I post these facts for every day of February..... Be sure to reprint these for your black friends, they'll appreciate it.

Black Fact #1 - Black people only enjoy crackers made by Mr. Christie.

Black Fact #2 - Black people love the color purple. Don't know why.... but they just LOVE it. Grimace, Grape Kool-Aid, that movie with Oprah and Whoopi. PURPLE!!!!

Black Fact #3 - A good weave is a semi-precious jewel. Wash your hands before you touch it.

Black Fact #4 - That's not a birthmark on their forehead, that's a scar. It's from leaving the hot comb on the stove, and watching Young and the Restless too long.

Black Fact #5 - Black men have perfect penises. Which is just why you might put up with so much crap.

Black Fact #6 - The saying always goes.... Black don't crack. (Unless you get hit with a shovel)

Black Fact #7 - Black people are always late. Don't wait. You will be dissapointed.... Unless we're fucking you.

Black Fact #8 - An afro is insulation from the white man getting to your brain.... and it's a beautiful thing.

Black Fact #9 - Cocoa Butter is essential to moisturize black skin. Otherwise you get mistaken for 'Crazy Ashy Larry' who tries to sell aspirin pills on 5th.

Black Fact #10 - If white people had black butts, we wouldn't have chairs.


  1. you have a wicked sense of humor. It is understandable that you dont know why African Americans love the Color People because of your own unique ethnic background. Watch Good Hair for some really good laughs. Black men dont have perfect penises some of them just use what they have better than others. Black skin is more elastic and youthful than white skin. It is the genes. White folks just wrinkle more. Black people have always operated on colored time people because the white people with whom we dealt operate on the same time (CPT). Cocoa butter does work in some cases. It is an excellent after shave application and makes your skin look much better than applying alcohol. Please explain black fact #10. very few black people want to sit in the laps of white people unless of course they are crazy about crackers. Black people do love to laugh even at ourselves. Happy Black History Month. You should read about blacks in the Caribbean and Canada. What do you celebrate?
    By the way, I love your work as a porn star. You are a top rate performer, but you do have to work on being a comedian.

  2. I LOVE Black Fact #5...and Black Fact #7!

    Damn I love Big, Black Cock!

  3. Lenny.... thanks for keeping the 'black facts' fun. I'll be sure to explain why the chicken crossed the road too, next time.

  4. I hope these Black Facts are posted in every public high school in San Francisco. "And the Truth shall make ye free!" About Fact #5: Some are even more perfect than others. This conlusion is derived from decades of close observation. Some taste better, too, but that is for another day.

  5. lol lol If white people had black butts, we wouldn't have chairs. So true xx

  6. Seventeen kinds of wrong. Wonderful wrong.

  7. We met over a tube of cocoa butter! Remember!?! You were actually transgressing your own black fact, but I saved the day with cocoa butter!

    I love these!

  8. You can take Black Fact Number 5 to the bank! Black men do have beautiful penises! There is nothing on this earth that is so perfect in every way. A black dick is a true object of adoration, and to kneel before a thick, strong black dick and serve its every need is one of the joys of living.