Monday, February 22, 2010

These are Black Facts. (11-20)

The Black Facts are continuing.... for those of you that think these are real facts.... They do hold some truth, but really..... if you take it seriously, GET A LIFE!!!

Black Fact #11 - Do not touch a black person's man or woman. That is THEIR TERRITORY! Although I hear Chicken Tetrazzini, is a good way to lure them away.

Black Fact #12 - Black people are cost conscious, not CHEAP! Examples of some 'cost conscious' sayings you might overhear are: "Are you buying my drink?" and "What do you mean we can't take the entire buffet to go?"

Black Fact #13 - The nappiest part of a black person's hair to brush, is the back of the head. Otherwise referred to as 'the kitchen'.... and it's commonly known, children always cry when you hit 'the kitchen'.

Black Fact #14 - Black men suffer from an affliction of coarse beards and sensitive skin, that produce 'razor bumps'. The cure is to not use that shit made for whities (shaving gel), and to use hair conditioner or lotion to shave. Get your shaving technique RIGHT!!

Black Fact #15 - Never, never, EVER, disrespect a black person's mama! That is their heart and soul! However, if you phrase your words as a "Yo Mama" joke, and do it in a public arena, that is very acceptable. "Yo Mama's so fat, that when we went to play hide n' seek as children, we hid behind yo mama's cankles!"

Black Fact #16 - Don't be surprised if a black person freaks out when you touch their hair. It's from the trauma of kids smacking their afros on the playground and saying "It's like a sponge". In truth, it's not that absorbent. If it was, we'd be lifeguards and dip our heads in the pool when people were drowning.

Black Fact #17 - The only difference between a black person's Buick and an old person's Buick, are the 24 inch rims.

Black Fact #18 - Michael Steele of the RNC, isn't really black. He tries waaaaaay too hard, to speak like one.

Black Fact #19 - Black people look great wearing white.... but that ring-around-the-collar is a bitch to get out, when doing laundry.

Black Fact #20 - There are few things black people distrust more than the police. Although swimming without water-wings is right up there, and so is getting your haircut by a caucasian with no experience in cutting black hair.... Police pretty much take the cake. They get trigger happy around us, for some reason.


  1. On the subject of 'facts about black people' - a similar tongue-in-cheek blog is here:

    Hilarious. Absolutely hilarious... and upsettingly true in places.

  2. This is HILLARIOUS. Did you come up with these facts man.. Race reading this reminds me of why I LUV YA man. You are AMAZING.